"Connection is a key that unlocks health in the body and opens the door to positive relationships. The mechanism that clicks the lock open is co-regulation.” - Dr. Martha Welch
What is Emotional Connection?
Our emotions affect our physical health.
"Emotional connection" signifies a well-researched comprehension of the real nature of connecting and its concrete impacts on our physical health. It's not just a personal sentiment or a nice extra; it's a crucial requirement with significant implications for our well-being.
The emotional connection we are referring to happens at the heart of our nervous system. This is why connecting with loved ones can result in measurable bodily changes that contribute to development, health, happiness, learning, behavior, pain perception, and stress management.
For many years, the main focus has been on self-regulated strategies that involve controlling our brains from the top-down, and these strategies are appealing because they promise a sense of control. The idea is that we can rewire our brains or use our thoughts to solve any problem. We've been taught to believe that we alone can solve our problems.
As a society, we are facing significant challenges in finding things like happiness, self-worth, and purpose. We're also struggling with emotions like anxiety, sadness, loneliness, anger, and fear. The methods we've learned to manage these emotional struggles often fall short. And the pain of feeling disconnected from others is extremely debilitating.
Essentially, connection acts as both preventative care and a method of recovery. By nurturing our most important relationships, we attain a deeper understanding of our bodies and minds, leading to enhanced physical, emotional, and behavioral outcomes in all aspects of life.
The Science Behind Emotional Connection
Emotional connection is both protective and reparative.
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Emotional connection is physical: It occurs within bodies and between bodies.
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Emotional connection is a state, not an inherent trait: We move in and out of states of connection daily. It's not a fixed characteristic of an individual, and it's not tied to someone's personality.
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Emotional connection is mendable: As a temporary state, connection is never irreparable. We can use the same pathways that establish connection to mend a broken one, and to condition our bodies to turn toward each other during both positive and challenging moments.
Co-regulation starts during pregnancy as a mother and baby mutually regulate each other.
Before birth co-regulation establishes a basis for connection. Extending beyond mothers and babies—it's a universal process applicable to anyone. Nevertheless, co-regulation is most effective when it happens between individuals who hold significant roles in each other's lives, like parents and children.
The process of change is known as autonomic co-regulation.
This occurs when two individuals engage in sensory behaviors while expressing their emotions together, resulting in the mutual regulation of their autonomic nervous system (or ANS for short). This process is the foundation for the physiological enhancements, developmental advancements, and emotional well-being observed in research findings.
Self-regulation, the process of managing one's own nervous system, is a concept you're likely familiar with. Dr. Welch's theory proposes that co-regulation, the shared regulation of each other's nervous systems between two people, is even more fundamental. The autonomic nervous system (ANS), responsible for managing stress responses, releasing nurturing hormones, influencing emotional behavior, and promoting calm in the body and brain, is thought to be the physiological basis of relational health.
Why it matters?
Understanding the autonomic facet of co-regulation is crucial because it explains why relationships and emotional experiences have such profound effects on biology, longevity, productivity, resilience, and happiness. This not only enhances lives but also holds the potential to save lives.
The Universal Welch Emotional Connection Screening (uWECS)
The health of a relationship is based on emotional connection, and that is measured by looking at the behavior between two people. Dr. Welch developed the Welch Emotional Connection Screening (WECS), a scientifically proven tool that measures emotional connection.
Who is this resource for? While it could be applied to really anyone, our focus is primarily on parents with young children (aged 0-5).
Through the screening process, we look for:
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Mutual Attraction (do parent and child want to be close to each other? Do they turn toward each other?)
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Vocal Communication (is their vocal tone warm and engaging?)
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Facial Expressiveness (are they trying to communicate using their faces?)
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Reciprocity (are they sensitive to each other’s expressed emotions? Do they respond to each other with their voices, faces, and gestures? Do they follow-up with each other?)
We may not be accustomed to thinking of these things as science, but behaviors are outward manifestations of essential biological processes going on inside our bodies.